Our Refuge

Shades of Grey

2012-02-06T20:38:00.005+07:00

When I was in college I asked my friend Joshua what his favorite color was. "Grey," he said. "What? You can't say grey! Grey isn't even a color--it's a non-color." "I don't care, I like it."

At the time my favorite color to look at was aqua and my favorite color to wear was fuchsia. I just could not wrap my head around someone loving a color, that in all actuality seemed like a void to fill with something brighter, not an answer in itself. Who on earth could love the color grey, I thought.

I guess, at the time, I had a similar relationship to other things that did not produce radiance. Loss, grief, pain, suffering. You lost someone you love? There must be a reason for it, a deeper meaning that we just can't see. Your heart is broken? Don't worry, you'll have an even better story to tell when the "right" person comes along. You cut off your toe? I'm very sorry. Excuse me while I cover the wound with a neon green band-aid as you contract gangrene and I pretend like it's healed and worth shouting praises about.

And I stood, confused at the chaos around me when people accepted my words and smiles and affirmation to my face and then went home, still suffering, still confused. I couldn't understand why the pinks and greens and yellows I'd used to cover over my grey and brown areas weren't bright enough or strong enough for other people. I thought: what is so different about me, so strange about me, that I can find colors in the dark? Truth be told, I put myself on a pedestal. Convinced of my ultra-Christianity in a world full of people who just couldn't see well enough to enjoy the shine.

But as time went on, and I found myself forging new paths and moving on to uncharted territory. Slowly, over time, the colors seemed to wash away quicker than they had before, and for awhile I fought hand in fist to paint those colors on, brighter, brighter, ever brighter.

But the places were new and the people were new, and the hardships were new and lonely and they didn't know me and my neon color patches. And they didn't have any new colors to give me, and the old ones just kept washing away. And so I started to experiment with less color. What would happen? Would I survive? Less and less and less until I looked down, and had to admit to myself (but only when I was alone), that in fact the hurt was deep and dark and black, with occasional shades of grey. No wonder the colors couldn't cover it anymore. What color can cover black? And I was angry. Maybe I didn't have any answers after all. Was it ok that I didn't have any answers?

So I started a journey. I sought out others who had been through hard things. I sought out persons and stories and struggles of the worst kind. Abuses and injustice and atrocities abounded as soon as I started looking. I really didn't have to look far at all. And some of those hard things were so incomprehensible that no color could cover over the vastness of their suffering. And some of them never really tried. And this I couldn't understand. This changed everything. Where was the meaning? Where were the answers? Where was the thing worth striving for?

And is it possible to believe in joy and hope in the midst of crushing all-consuming suffering? Suffering that has no answers except time. Time and prayer and tears and pain and time. Is it possible to believe in peace when your soul has been trampled on, by absolutely no fault of your own? Is it possible to repair the mangled and ripped apart pieces that were buried when they became unrecognizable? And what color could possibly fit over them? What answer is there, in the midst of all those questions?

I don't have the answers.

I believe that God heals, piece by piece, bit by bloody bit. But sometimes that healing doesn't look at all radiant, sometimes it just looks peaceful for a minute, for a split second, before it goes back to being painful. Don't blink, it's there.

Every few years, I look back on my life and think about how naive and narrow minded I was a few years ago. Because now, irony of ironies, my favorite colors are brown and grey. Instead of seeing an emptiness that should be filled with something radiant and shocking, when I look at brown tones and grey tones now I see a non-assuming warmth that is just content with being warm. Fluidly whole and consistently solid. Rather than boring, it looks peaceful. Content. Stunning to no one, but enough, in and of itself, to give light and life.

The Fight

2012-01-12T15:36:00.005+07:00

Photo Credit: Amy Collins

The definition of sex trafficking is when an individual is coerced, forced, or deceived into engaging in sexual acts for payment.

People sometimes ask me, in a curious and slightly judgmental way, "Didn't they try to get out?" Or "Why did they stay there?" or "Why didn't they fight harder to get away?"

Some of girls who are trafficked have been drugged and beaten, starved and maliciously raped until they have no fight left in them.

For other girls, it takes less than that to keep them enslaved.

Photo Credit: Amy Collins

We recently took in a 13 year old girl, Lynn*, who had been molested and raped by her father repeatedly since she was 9 years old. He would lock her in the house and beat her and her mother regularly. He threatened to kill the entire family if she told anyone. He used cocaine daily, always carried a knife and was very violent, so she had no reason to doubt his threats. When she couldn't take it anymore and told her mother, her mother asked her to keep it quiet so that they wouldn't be looked down on by their neighbors. Her father has another wife, and Lynn's mother is actually his mistress so he is not always staying with Lynn's mother, but when he does, Lynn would prefer to sleep outside than to be near him. To make matters worse, everyone in the community already knows about the abuse, but no one has ever tried to help Lynn, or the family.

When a friend and neighbor coerced Lynn, at the age of 12, into taking a job at a restaurant, she readily accepted, longing for a way to escape. She's never attended school so any opportunity seemed like a good one. She soon learned that the job was more than just being a waitress, but she was told she would not eat unless she engaged in services, and having known no other life, and no other worth, she eventually gave in.

Lynn was rescued by law enforcement and her neighbor and trafficker, as well as the men using her were all arrested. She was brought to My Refuge House and almost immediately felt safe. She was given clothes and health care and a chance to go to school. But most importantly, she was given the opportunity to fight, not only against her traffickers, but against her father who abused her for so long.

And with the support of our staff, she is absolutely determined to see justice done.

*Name changed for protection

want to know more? www.myrefugehouse.com

Christmas Gifts

2011-11-30T08:46:00.001+07:00

In values class the other day, the girls were asked to write down "My Greatest Gift for Myself this Christmas." I never fail to be amazed at the things they write, and as a gift to you, I hope you will enjoy reading a few of the gifts our girls are most thankful for.

"I learned how to spell, and I'm so thankful to the Lord, because if I was not here at MRH, I would not have learned how to spell words or been able to attend the classes here at MRH; those are the greatest gifts I've received this Christmas."

"My greatest gift for myself is that I've learned how to be careful with the way I talk to others and because of that I don't have any enemies anymore. Also, I've been able to know God and I really feel like I'm following him and I can carry my problems now."

"I don't feel sad anymore being away from my family or away from my home, and I'm thankful that I was brought here to MRH because we learned good manners and also how to take care of ourselves. I'm also thankful to God for saving me and I'm happy because I learned here for the first time how to open a Bible."

"The greatest gift that came to me is that I was already able to talk about everything I've been hiding, and God gave me strength to talk about everything I've done and all my experiences, and I don't feel shame in talking about it even though it's very dirty and even though my past was so very ugly. And I'm so happy that the person I told about my past doesn't feel dirty towards me and didn't change the way that they treated me. That's the greatest gift that's been given to me."

"My attitude has changed, and I'm not like I was before, and I'm so proud of myself because I learned how to change my attitude."

"Every single day I get to know God while I'm at MRH, before in my house, I say thank you to God every day, but I'm thankful to be here because I like hearing and listening to God's words and I wasn't able to do that before."

"My greatest gift this Christmas is to be part of MRH and I'm so happy here because I've changed and I know how to handle my problems and my trials now. I'm so happy because I have a true family now. I know that MRH will protect me and they will not let me go to the bad person. If I go home and I'm with my true family, I know they will not protect me. That's why I'm so thankful to be part of MRH. This is my greatest gift to myself this Christmas: to be happy."

"I'm happy for myself and my child because of the many gifts we've been given like clothes."

From us to you, THANK YOU, for allowing us to give such good gifts to our girls.

www.myrefugehouse.com

Bravery

2011-11-22T12:19:00.001+07:00

I watched a girl, one of the bravest girls I've ever met, stand up in a court room full of people, point her finger at her trafficker with a loud, unwavering voice and say "Him."

She had been asked to point out her perpetrators. A husband and wife couple who had taken advantage of her, and countless others before her. And because she has turned 18 between the date she was rescued and her court date, she was standing in a room full of on-lookers, with the opposing lawyer standing at the back of her, calling out questions and raising objections every few minutes.

Local court room office

Court scenes are far from perfect anywhere, but in the Philippines they often seem even less so. Rooms full of cases lined up and presented one after another. Piles and piles of files and papers laying everywhere. Schedules delayed by late judges, witness or even defendants who don't show up or lawyers who just haven't had time to talk to their defendant. Translators who question the girl and the validity of their own translation, and judges whose plates are so full that they just don't have sufficient time to hear every case, and often hurry the witnesses along in an effort to finish.

Cebu Capitol Building

But my heart soared with pride when this girl, who we've had the privilege to get to know and shelter from the threats of her notorious trafficker, pointed her finger and held her head high. My heart soared when she told us, a few days previous, how determined she was to fight the case, because she didn't want anyone else to have to go through what she had been through. She didn't want anyone else to experience the fear and anxiety, the abuse that she had lived through, first as a victim of trafficking, and then as one who had to seek safety in a witness protection program because of the on-going threats she recieved. My heart soared with thanksgiving for the bravery of this girl, and the opportunity to help her fight.

Thank you to everyone who supports us, for giving her the opportunity to fight.

Please continue to pray for her and the the others in our care who are fighting cases and standing up against those who have wronged them.

Finally Home

2011-11-09T16:47:00.001+07:00

A few weeks ago, we had the privilege of reuniting one ofour girls with her family.

Supported by friends who understand what she's been through.

The hope for all of our girls, is that they will be able toeventually be reunited with supportive family. As you can imagine, this is not always the case. When the girls havebeen victims of trafficking, there are times when family members have been theones to encourage them or pressure them into vulnerable situations. There aretimes when family members are abusive or have too many mouths to feed andaren’t able to adequately support the girls. And some of our girls come fromfamilies who have sexually abused or raped them, and their homes are no longersafe places to return.

But a few weeks ago, one of our girls did get to go home.

Jane, letting go of her past.

Jane* was raped by her uncle a few years ago. She bravelydecided to fight a court case against him, and in doing so, turned many of herfamily members against her. Most of her family urged her to drop the case, infear that her uncle would stop providing financial support, or worse, make goodon his threats to hurt her and anyone who attempted to help her.

Jane was living with her uncle for a few years, and he wassponsoring her education. Jane’s father lived nearby but was addicted to drugsand couldn’t hold down a stable job. Because of that he couldn’t afford to puther through school. Jane’s mother and father have been separated since she wasa baby, and Jane had stayed with her father, while her mother had moved toManila. Jane had not seen her mother since she was a toddler.

At the age of 16, Jane was still in 6^th gradebecause of the financial hardships of her family. It was that year that her uncleraped her. She became withdrawn and quiet in class, and her teacher asked herwhat was wrong. She confessed what had happened to her teacher, and her lifebegan to take a turn for the worse. Her father turned against her, her siblingsturned against her, everyone was angry at her for “making trouble.” She wasreferred to a government shelter for her protection.

Jane, surrounded by the other girls praying for her.

When she was at the government shelter, her uncle and hissupporters would drive by and shout threats at her, trying to scare her anddemanding that she stop the case. They had the case down-graded by the court toa lesser charge and even reconstructed their house so that the evidence thatJane brought to the trial would be irrelevant. The government shelter has apolicy that all girls must be kicked out at age 18, so Jane’s only supportivesister took her in at that time. But they were all fearful of her uncle,because he continued to threaten them. In desperation, Jane went back to theshelter, but they could not take her in. So they called us.

A few weeks after Jane was admitted her, she experiencedsevere stomach pain. She was taken to the hospital and immediately rushed intosurgery for appendicitis! We are so thankful to have been able to provide thatcare for her. Her state social worker repeatedly told us how thankful she wasthat Jane was in our care, because most likely the government shelter would nothave been able to pay for a surgery of that nature.

Singing the praise songs Jane picked out for her "funeral."

While Jane was in our care, she was able to work on somegoals that she developed for herself. Her goals were to find ways to respond toher anger less aggressively, to decrease her negative thoughts about herself,and to improve her leadership skills. When we asked her how she would rateherself on those goals, she gave herself scores of 10/10, 9/10, and 10/10! Shesaid that the support and care of the staff, and the skills that were taughthere at MRH were very helpful to her, and because of them she was able to learnand grow in ways that she hadn’t been able to do at the other center.

Jane continued to suffer from minor medical complications inthe months following her appendectomy. She also wrestled with the very bigquestion of what to do about her case. No girl should ever be forced to make adecision like that, but she was the only one who could make it. Should shecontinue to fight a case, subjecting herself to the threats and ridicules thatcame with it, when the charges were now so minimal that any sentence grantedwould seem a slap in the face? Or should she continue to fight, no matter thecost?

Jane fought for a very long time. For over two years she fought and saw thetrial go from bad to worse. In the end, she decided that she wanted to leave itall behind, the trial, her father’s side of the family, Cebu, everything. Shewanted to start over and look forward again to a hopeful future. Thankfully,when we contacted her mother, she wanted the same thing for Jane.

Jane, being added in her "funeral" by MRH's social worker.

On her last day at our house, we asked her if she wanted tohave a funeral for her past life. She agreed wholeheartedly. She wrote down allthe things that had plagued her and hurt her and confused her in the pastyears, took all of her journals and everything that reminded her of her pastlife, and burned them and buried the ashes in our yard. You can see thepictures below of this ceremony. The other girls and staff are in thebackground, singing a few praise songs that she requested for the occasion.

When Jane was taken home, her mother and halfsiblings were extremely supportive and even said if Jane wanted to keep fighting,they would find a way for her to get to the trial. They are also planning tosend her back to school at the beginning of the new school year. Life isfinally beginning to look hopeful again for Jane, and she’s so thankful to bereunited with a supportive and safe family. Her past has been left at our home, safely buried away, and her new life has only just begun.

Letting go, once and for all.

(The Beginning of) Allison's story

2011-10-19T16:45:00.002+07:00

Survivors of sexual exploitation are often, understandably, very critical of their appearance. Many of them have been forced to survive in a culture that criticizes every part of their appearance, always demanding them to look better or to change in some way so they will be more "appealing." On top of that, many of these young girls were told similar lies of not being good enough, or pretty enough by their loved ones, and so when the pimps speak those words, they have no choice but to believe they are speaking truth.

One of the girls living in our home, Allison*, shares this story. Allison is the youngest of five children, and when her mother learned she was pregnant with Allison, she tried to abort her (most likely using drugs). Allison grew up in a broken family, and spent most of her growing up years with her father, who was extremely abusive and neglectful. He was an alcoholic and a drug addict and eventually died of a failed liver. Allison's mother has a job as a maid and earns only 30$ per month to care for her children, and it's never enough to meet their needs.

At the age of 14, Allison's father died and she moved back with her mother. Although Allison was already a couple of years behind in her school advancement, her mother asked her to drop out of school because she couldn't pay for her in addition to her nieces and nephews, who were already enrolled.Allison is a leader with a vibrant personality and a beautiful smile, and soon sought the love that she needed from boys. She didn't get along with girls and her mother and sisters thought she was being sexually permiscious and would call her a bad names and accuse her of being a "slut" and a prostitute. She would deny the accusations, but no matter what she said they never believed her.

At the age of 15, Allison met a girl who easily coerced her to engage in sexual services. She said that since her family already thought she was a prostitute, she might as well be one. She was given only 10$ per customer in exchange for those services. Allison was even further shunned from her family who told her she was worthless and shameful when they found out. Obviously, this criticism was not what she needed to escape.

Allison is now 16, but because of her age and her extreme vulnerability, this case is considered a trafficking case. Under Philippine law, she is considered a minor and because of her young vulnerability, thankfully, there are consequences for taking advantage of her. The "bar" where she worked was raided by police in July 2011 and she was brought to My Refuge House shortly after.

When Allison arrived she was angry and often contemplating running away, but she didn't want to go back home. She had given up on going to school and was convinced that being a prostitute was all she could ever do. She would easily get upset at someone, even if she just thought they were talking about her or making fun of her. She was so self conscious of her appearance that every comment about looks, whether pointed at her or not, would make her angry, because she would assume it was about her.

In just the few short months since Allison arrived, with the encouragement of our trained staff, she has grown in remarkable ways. She has begun to find things about herself, even her appearance, that she appreciates. She has become a leader in her "family" and the smile on her face has become almost instant and radiant. She rarely gets upset now, and when she does, she usually finds someone to talk to instead of shouting or punching the cement walls like she used to. Almost every day, one of the staff comments about how much she has grown and improved. She's not the same girl she was a few months ago.

MRH has been able to provide Allison the education she was forced to give up and she is wholeheartedly participating in her studies. She has also decided to pursue culinary arts because she loves to cook. Allison suffered from many medical complications due to the work that she engaged in, and MRH was able to give her the care she needed for that. Most importantly though, MRH has given her a safe, loving home, where she feels supported and cared for, for the first time.

*name changed to protect participant

My Papa

2011-09-30T11:12:00.000+07:00

Yesterday, I showed this picture of myself with my grandparents to the girls.

The 15 month old baby, the daughter of one of the girls, pointed at the my grandfather and said "Papa!"

Yes, I think he just might be yours too, sweet girl.

Controlling Goats

2011-08-30T15:49:00.000+07:00

My office has a great view of the neighbor's thatch-roofed house on the hill next to ours. Today, I watched out my window as a boy, probably around 8 years old, tried desperately to pull a very stubborn goat up the hill to his house. He tugged, and pulled and shouted for a number of minutes. He was about halfway up the hill and in desperation, he threw the goat's rope on the ground and started running down the other side of the hill. As soon as he started running, the goat followed him. In fact the goat was so eager to keep up, that he actually overtook the boy!

I laughed a little, at this view out my window. But it reminded me so much of what it's like to work with people. We can be quite stubborn, when others are telling us what to do. Even if that thing they are encouraging us to do is good and better than what we are currently doing, sometimes we attack it with surprising amounts of resistance anyway. But then, if we can glimpse someone excelling and enjoying their way, we will do all we can to attain that thing... especially if no one is pushing or pulling us along.

Sculpture of a girl attempting to pull a goat

I often tell our staff that working with people is not math. There is no one right answer all the time. Even for the same girl. Sometimes one approach works, sometimes that same approach will make the situation worse. We never really know. But we do know, that when we communicate to a person that change and growth are in their control, and only their control, and step back to watch and see how they do it (encouraging and prompting along the way), well, then it's often amazing to see what transpires. The trick is, teaching someone, empowering someone, to find hope, to believe that the future is better and bright and theirs for the taking.

When someone believes that, really believes that they have hope; that's when it becomes impossible to keep up.

Current favorite game: The Slipper Game...

Think of kickball using flip-flops (slippers) instead of a ball.

Safety

2011-08-22T14:05:00.000+07:00

I love hearing the laughter of the girls throughout the day. Most of my day can be rather boring to be honest. Answering email and making reports and coordinating with partners and staff and all aspects of the program to ensure that we give the best care possible are what I spend the bulk of my time on. But as the girls play games inside and outside, or just enjoy each others company, the laughter that erupts is incredible and gives me great fuel to continue my (boring) tasks.

The other thing that's incredible is watching the girls become accustomed to feeling safe. Safety is a huge part of what we aim to accomplish. Physical Safety is necessary because many of the girls have perpetrators who have threatened them and their families. But even more important at times is Emotional Safety. A few weeks ago, one of the girls cried as she told our staff that she had never been treated without shame or guilt about her past until now. In fact, this was the first time anyone had ever told her it was ok to give up that shame that she had been carrying. Staff who are caring and comforting (and also firm when they need to be!) are an essential part of providing emotional safety, and I'm so thankful for the staff we have who are doing just that.

The other day the girls did an activity in which they were asked to draw a safe place. The meaning of physical safety and emotional safety was explained to them in order to emphasize the importance of working together and accepting each other (in a house full of teenage girls, emotions sometimes run high!). When they were asked to draw a picture of a safe place... every girl at the table drew a picture of our house.

Last week, we received 6 more girls. That means that currently, we have 13 girls living in our home. Our house is full! Actually, it's more than full, because we had initially set up to take in only 12. I'm still amazed that we opened up our new home less than four months ago and already it's full beyond it's intended capacity. The need is great, and we couldn't bear to separate the last girl out of this group of 6 who came together. All six are between the ages of 14 and 16 and we are so thankful to have the privilege of providing a safe place for each one of them to grow and heal.

Green!

2011-07-23T11:57:00.000+07:00

Our grass has grown in, and our flowers are blooming and it looks great around here!

Here are some pics so you can also enjoy the view :)

2011-07-21T11:59:00.000+07:00

One of our girls drew this picture the other day.

It's says "MRH is my house"

The picture on the left is her self-portrait and the other girls are playing volleyball and watering the flowers, two things that they do almost every day.

I'm so glad that she sees this house as her home.

New Webpage

2011-07-16T12:49:00.000+07:00

My Refuge House has a new website, and a new Logo!! Check it out here:

www.myrefugehouse.org

Thanks to everyone who worked so hard to put it together. It looks great :)

Hello Doctor

2011-07-12T11:33:00.000+07:00

One of the realities of the work we do, is that girls often come into our doors without having received appropriate medical care. Some of the girls living in our facility now had NEVER been to a doctor before. In case you are wondering, some of the medical situations that have come up in the past two months include: various sorts of stomach pain, various sorts of STDs, tooth pain and severe cavities, urinary tract infections, colds, throwing up, fevers and... appendicitis.

Working with doctors in any place can be frustrating. But sometimes medical care in the Philippines can be more than frustrating. Two weeks after Rachel* arrived she woke up in the middle of the night with severe stomach pain. She was taken to a nearby hospital, where they scheduled her surgery for almost eight hours later. We decided to transfer her to another hospital, concerned that the eight hour wait could be too long.

The second hospital we went to was a government hospital. This is the hospital that most government shelters will use for emergencies because the cost is extremely minimal. In fact, I personally know individuals who have received good care there. But it's also, almost always, over capacity. We arrived there and were sent to a room in the ER with beds to wait. The bed they wanted Rachel to lay in had a few suspicious stains on it. We asked some of the nurses attending what the wait would be like for Rachel to see a doctor. They mentioned that two of the other patients in the room had been admitted in the ER two days earlier. Both were diagnosed with appendicitis. The nurse also mentioned that typically, in this particular hospital the operating rooms were always overbooked and patients with appendicitis usually ruptured before they could have surgery. Needless to say, we left quickly.

Finally we went to another private hospital where the physician was able to tend to Rachel right away. We gave a 50% down payment for the bill, and within an hour, she was taken to the Operating Room. Her appendix was very nearly ruptured, and we are so thankful that we transferred her from the first hospital. Rachel recovered in a few days and was sent back to our home.

Thank you to everyone who donates to this ministry and allows us to provide much needed care for our girls.

*Name changed to protect participant identity

Number One

2011-06-23T17:40:00.000+07:00

My first thank you note in our new facility.
The reason: being in our home.
I have the best job in the world.

Education and Eyeglasses

2011-06-21T10:16:00.001+07:00

All five of the girls currently in our care are behind in their schooling. The girl's ages range from 15 years old to 18 years old, however, their education levels are anywhere from grade 1 to "first year" high school. Which means that the girls are somewhere in the range of two years behind in their education to 10 years behind.

Diligently working on the math lesson

When we assessed our program last year, we noticed this gap in education and made plans to address it wholeheartedly when we re-opened our new facility. We've hired two full time staff whose main focus is providing education. Also, two education volunteers have also agreed to come visit a couple of times a week. Together, the four of them comprise our educational team. They work hand in hand with the Department of Education (DepEd) to provide daily tutorial sessions so that the girls can make up for the time that has been stolen from them. And they are so excited to learn; they keep asking for more homework, and would rather study math than play games!.

Grading completed math problems

We also found that part of the reason why they may have not been able to excel in school (other than family trauma and lack of financial resources) is that a couple of them desperately needed eyeglasses. Thankfully, a good friend and supporter of MRH in Cebu, Dr. de Guzman, graciously agreed to come out to our facility and give free eye exams to all of our girls. She also donated the lenses to the two girls who needed them!

Thanks Dr. de Guzman!

God's Beautiful World

2011-05-30T14:00:00.000+07:00

When I was asked "What are your desires for the property?" My response was "I want the property, in and of itself, to be therapeutic." So, when one of the board members found this property, 6000 sq meters of land, on a hill, overlooking the ocean, with the most amazing view of the outlying islands, it was no contest. And to top it off, it was bank foreclosed property, so the price we paid for the land was literally 8$ per square meter (an amazing bargain in an archipelago that is constantly riddled with land disputes).

The other day, one of the girls was sitting outside on the porch, looking out at that beautiful view. When Miss Jacky, one of our staff, found her, she had tears streaming down her face. Miss Jacky asked her what was wrong and this was her response:

I just realized how beautiful this world is, and it reminded me of how much God loves me. Even though I've caused my parents pain because of some of the decisions I've made, God never left me. It encourages me to work hard for my future.

Help us pray that she is the first of many to find strength and healing in the safety of our home.

Filling Our Rooms

2011-05-25T16:04:00.001+07:00

For weeks we've been contacting social workers across the province asking for referrals. Every day I have been asked by our staff at least once when they will start to arrive. And today, I finally was able to answer!

We received not one, or two, but three girls today! When it rains, it pours, and it is raining-- both figuratively and literally. As I look out the window and watch the rain come down, I couldn't be more thankful for the chance to do this work.

Photo Credit Bethany Williams

Moving In

2011-05-18T07:17:00.000+07:00

Our House is starting to take shape as we move in and put in finishing touches. Here are a few pictures of our new home. Enjoy!

The porch outside with new grass and flowers given by some dear friends.

The parking area

Front door of the house and storage area with more plants and flowers

The Guard house and front gate

More flowerboxes and grass

The dining room

Our living room and library

Office space

Kitchen

Living area and dining room. The house is so open and bright!

One of the bedrooms

Counseling Room

Inside staircase

Staircase and downstairs bathroom

Welcome Home!

The Neighbors

2011-05-17T07:44:00.000+07:00

It's planting season!

Our House is Open!

2011-05-08T19:30:00.005+07:00

Today, we celebrated the completion and opening of our new Refuge House!

We had to compete with Mother's Day, a typhoon, and a Manny Pacquio fight (which, when they play, always shut down the entire city, and gangs usually call truces so that the police can watch the fight). But we still had a great turn out including most of our partner agencies, local government officials, and newly appointed Vice Governor of Cebu and Director of the Provincial Women's Commission, Agnes Magpale.

Everyone wearing yellow is a staff, volunteer or Board member of MRH.

Here a couple of pictures from the day. For more pictures check out: http://www.dropbox.com/gallery/16154995/1/2011-05-08%20Open%20House%202011?h=eb5c80

Family

2011-05-02T05:33:00.000+07:00

I don't think I've ever talked about my family here, but you should know mine means the world to me.

I have four younger siblings... Kyle, Maralee, Karlee and Tyler. The age gap from me to Tyler, the youngest, is 14 years. Because of my often wandering ways, I've missed a good portion of the growing up of Maralee, Karlee and Tyler. I left the house almost 12 years ago, when Tyler was 3, Karlee was 6 and Maralee was 9. I went to Cambodia for 5 months, over to the Philippines for two years, then down to Texas for 5 years where I picked up a couple of degrees, and finally back to the Philippines were I am now.

I've missed many birthday parties, many sporting events, many choir concerts and plays, many memories, many life altering moments. And every time, I grieve a little.

Karlee is turning 18 in a few days. She's been the president of her choir for two years, and she having her final choir concert in the first week of June. She'll put on a weird hat and graduate from high school in the second week of June. And I won't to be there for any of it.

Karlee is one of the most amazing people I've ever met. She smart, witty, coordinated and athletic, so much fun to be around, and has amazing amounts of wisdom, truly beyond her years. She one of the hardest workers I know. She bought a car and has been working multiple jobs for the past two years in order to pay it off before college. She's been faced with challenges most people her age don't ever have to deal with, but she's strong and capable and become more so with each challenge.

Last year, before I applied to MRH, I was talking to Karlee about what I should do next. I thought maybe I should get a job close to home so that I could be more actively part of my family's life. Her words to me were something along the lines of "We love you and of course we would love to have you close by again, but you should be where you can influence the most people, and right now, that's in the Philippines."

Karlee, I love you. I'll be celebrating with you from across the sea and counting down the days until August when we can celebrate in person.

Finished and Beautiful

2011-04-27T07:00:00.001+07:00

When the crew told me they would be done early, what they meant was "almost on time." (If they would have said they'd be done on time, it would have been late). I always forget these nuances in Filipino time. But, I have to hand it to them, most of the crew has been working 15 hour days for the past 3 months in order to get this building done. AND, I keep adding projects for them to complete, so their attention has been diverted at times by the septic tank, water tank pillar, drainage line, parking area, and final wall of the fence. So, all in all, a project that typically takes 6 months to finish, has been completed in 15 weeks. It's finished, and it's beautiful. Take a look at some of the pictures below:

The blocks of cement in front will become an area for parking by the end of next week.

Front Door

Dining Room looking onto balcony... currently storing a lot of our things!

Cabinet in Living Room

Living Room

Staff Bedroom

Counseling Room

Kitchen

Office

Top of Stairs and hallway

Stairs... a bit dusty

top of Stairs

Night View

Excitement is in the Air

2011-04-16T13:50:00.000+07:00

We are officially gearing up to open our new facility! (More pictures to come soon.)

A brief look at our timeline:

1. Completion of the first House (April 18, 2011)

2. Completion of Phase one of Construction-- including parking, guard house, drainage, water tank, fence and other small projects (April 30, 2011)

3. Staff Training (April 25-May 6)

4. Stakeholder Open House (May 8, 2011)

5. Community Open House (May 9, 2011)

6. Officially Open for New Participants (May 10, 2011)

7. Completion of landscaping (June 30, 2011)

Everyone in the office is very busy as we prepare to open our new facility. But there is excitement there also as we begin to see all of our hard work paying off. It's been pretty amazing to see the miraculous ways God has provided for this ministry in the past few months. Can I highlight a few of those ways? (If not... stop reading now, because I'm going to anyway!)

1. We began building our facility with about 3/4's of the money we needed to complete it. As the second month of our project began nearing an end, I started to get very worried that we would have to halt the construction completely. Then, seemingly out of no where, one person donated $25,000 to finish the house! The next week, to our great surprise, one church donated another $20,000!! Which meant, not only would we have enough to finish the house, we would be able to finish Phase One of construction before we opened! I cannot express how grateful I am to that person and that church for their amazing generosity.

2. A few weeks ago a Visitor shared a verse with us. The verse was Proverbs 24:3-4 and it reads "By wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established, through knowledge it's rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." Her encouragement was that as we continue to built our house, both literally and figuratively, to keep using the knowledge, wisdom and understanding of best practices. And as we do, God will fill our rooms, with those rare and beautiful treasures: Girls and young women who are survivors of terrible circumstances.

3. The other day we were in a meeting with the office staff, and the CR (bathroom) overflowed into the rest of the office. As I watched each of the staff members (even the one who is 8 months pregnant!) kick off their shoes, laughing, roll up their pants and grab tupperware, buckets, rugs, brooms and anything else they could find to move the water back into the CR (bathroom), I was so thankful for each one of them. We've truly been blessed with some incredible people to work along side in this ministry. I wish you could meet each of them!

These are just a couple of examples. I could fill pages with all the great things that are happening... Unfortunately, I have two weeks of training to prepare for, so I'd better get back to work!

To all those I haven't mentioned, please know that your efforts have not been overlooked. We appreciate all our partners so much, and couldn't be doing this ministry without you!

Crystal

Week 13... Almost finished!

2011-04-14T08:47:00.000+07:00

Almost finished!

First Bedroom

Second Bedroom

Looking out the front door

Living Room Area with built in cabinets

Other end of living room, facing the front door

Kitchen

Balcony and Office Space

Staircase going down to bedrooms

Upstairs terrace

upstairs terrace

dining room, facing outside terrace upstairs

dining room, facing CR and staircase

downstairs terrace attached to bedrooms

Week 12--- Inside and out!

2011-04-08T08:51:00.000+07:00

For a sneak preview on the house, and to show how much can be accomplished in a small amount of time, I've taken a bunch of pictures of the inside workings of the house. One week left to go before this house is completed! There will still be a bit of work to do on the drainage lines, guard house, landscaping and parking area, but everything will be completed by the end of April. Thanks again to all the amazing supporters who are making this ministry a reality.

Only one week left to go before this building is completed!

This is one of the bedrooms downstairs

The second bedroom downstairs

The dining room upstairs, facing the porch

Shelves in the living room/Foyer

Dining room with hole where the stairs will go.

stairs and one of the downstairs bedrooms

After we put up some walls this will be a small staff bedroom and a counseling room

Front door and dining room

Back of the house, where we will put a utility area.

Side of the house, with the water tower tank.

Water tower tank

Week 11

2011-04-01T16:03:00.001+07:00

Week 11... Just a couple more to go!

Stay tuned next week for pictures of the inside.

Currently, our staff training and orientation is scheduled for April 25- May 6.
Our Open House for our new building is scheduled for May 8. If you are in the area, let me know, we will send you in invitation.

A huge thank you to everyone who has made this become a reality-- you know who you are. We are so close to opening those doors!

GPG

2011-03-29T18:57:00.000+07:00

International Justice Mission (IJM) has graciously offered to feature MRH at their annual conference called the "Global Prayer Gathering" (GPG) To represent us on this day, Bethany Williams (Communications Fellow at IJM) assisted our MRH staff with the ideas and materials necessary to make a miniature landscape of what our new property will look like after construction is completed.

It's pretty amazing what plaster of paris and some creativity can produce. Can you see the miniature cars in the parking lot? We had a great time putting this together... although, I'll be honest, as the least creative person on the team I mostly just painted things that other people made. Thanks again Bethany and IJM!

If you have a chance to go to the GPG in Washington D.C. at the end of April, pay a visit to the MRH booth and say a prayer for us.

Good Morning

2011-03-25T13:28:00.000+07:00

Language is the heart of a culture, any culture. As my awareness and understanding of Cebuano culture grows, I have the privilege of observing behaviors that, at times, delight me. Other times the things I observe astound me, but whichever reaction is elicited I'm consistently learning.

I began to observe that if I greeted someone without wishing them a Good Morning (or afternoon, or evening, depending on the time of day) they would find a way to stick the phrase into the conversation, either at the end or beginning. No matter how short the conversation or how trivial the topic, there was usually a Good Morning it is somewhere-- even over text message! At first I thought this was funny. Then I began to realize I was offending people by not starting off the conversation that way.

From what I can tell, Good Morning or "Maayong Buntag" is almost like a wish or a prayer for someone's day and life. And if you don't say it, it is almost disrespectful. If you don't like someone, you talk to them without letting them hear that you wish well for them. It's the same when you leave someone. You say Take Care or "Ayow Ayow" as you are leaving, as a genuine wish and prayer for them as they leave.

But my favorite part of this tradition is when people pray. Many times, they will begin the prayer by saying "Lord... Good Morning Lord." And it has such an intimate quality about it that I often smile when I hear someone pray that way. It's like saying "Lord, I love you and respect you and want you to know that I would never come to you or ask anything from you if you didn't already know that."

It makes me think I should tell God "Good Morning" more often.

Early Morning in Pasil, Cebu
Photo Credit: Amy Collins

Week 10

2011-03-25T07:38:00.002+07:00

Week 10 and counting... our house is almost a home!

Week 8

2011-03-10T07:46:00.000+07:00

Our construction is continuing to forge along at a steady pace. The wheels are in motion for completion, and if all continues according to plan, we will open our doors by the first week of May!

Week 6

2011-02-21T11:58:00.000+07:00

Our construction team has just started their sixth week of construction! The building is beginning to look as if it will actually become a functional building and my hopes are started to get high for the time when we will see girls living there!

My increasingly large list of jobs I never thought I would have has "Project Manager" at the top. But I am learning from it, and the people I've found to work for the project are an incredible asset. They each believe in our ministry and understand the time crunch we are under to get the building completed. As a result, we might actually finish BEFORE the deadline. (If any of you know Philippine culture, you can appreciate how truly astounding that thought is!!)

Anyway, I wanted to show all of our faithful supporters what the progress looks like thus far, I know it's been awhile since I updated.

This first building (and phase one of our construction project) is our "Transition House." Eventually, when the rest of our facility is built, it will be used as a home for older girls and women who don't have a safe or appropriate home to reintegrate into. Girls can use this home as a base while they finish their education or get a job to save money for when they move out on their own.

At first, this building will be used as the center of our entire program. It will give us space to set up two "families" of 5-6 girls each. Each "Family" will have it's own house mothers so that when the lower campus is finished, they can transfer directly into the small bungalows that will be built for that purpose.

If you want to learn more about our program, you can view this interview I did for our partner organization "Conspiracy of Hope."

Thanks for all your prayers and support!

Oh the habits...

2011-01-25T13:12:00.000+07:00

I've recently begun to realize that some of my habits scream loudly that I don't live in the US anymore. If you care to learn more about them, here goes...

1. When I drive, my hand is constantly resting on my horn, at all times, just in case a goat or a child or another car decide to jump out in front of me.

2. Sometimes, when I throw things away (like a pen that doesn't work, or a shampoo bottle) I find myself wondering how the scavenger that digs it out will use it. Sometimes I even throw things away that aren't QUITE garbage yet and say to myself "that's going to make somebody's day."

3. I usually only eat about 1/2 cup rice at a meal. I can never eat less than 1 cup without receiving comments about being on a diet though.

4. When I'm in the states, I have to stop myself from throwing my toilet paper in the garbage. I am usually perplexed when there is no trash can next to the toilet.

5. Today I wore a scarf because it was "cold." It might have gotten down to 70 degrees (f). Probably not though.

6. In the mornings before my alarm goes off, I will usually turn off the fan and wrap myself in a blanket for 30min-1 hour in order to get warm enough to stand the cold shower I have to get in before I leave for work.

7. I've become a fan of 3-in-1 (coffee), and I actually call it "coffee."

8. I no longer am surprised when pets eat rice.

9. I will postpone life events if it rains.

10. I will take every opportunity I can to eat with my hands (it's only really fun if it's Filipino food though).

I'm sure there are more, but that's all I can come up with off the top of my head.

So Many Thanks

2010-12-29T07:25:00.001+07:00

This Christmas has been a whirlwind of seeing delightful people and being shocked by generosity; over and over and over again. I have a lot to be thankful for this year.

It would be too time consuming to list everyone here who has amazed me, so instead I'm going to tell a story.

I work really closely with a Pastor named Noel, and his wife, Lois. Pastor Noel has been a God-sent, over and over again, especially as I've tried to wade through construction and legal decisions concerning My Refuge House and our new property. In Mid-November, they called me and informed me that Lois's niece, Rejoice, was in the hospital. They asked if I could donate blood, and if I knew of anyone else who could donate blood to off-set some of the hospital bill. So I started asking friends if they could also donate blood.

Rejoice after her Surgery

Let me just preface this to say, I've been in the Philippines long enough to know that there are a never ending amount of needs that come up, and I rarely ask people for help, especially financial assistance. But Pastor Noel has been such an amazing help to the ministry of MRH, that I had to help, even if it was just donating blood. Pastor Noel's niece, Rejoice, has a condition called "Arteriovenous Malformation." It's a condition that certain people are born with, and usually go through their entire life without having any complications. In Rejoice's case, the condition had caused her nerves to sever in her jaw, and she would bleed, literally liters of blood. Without Surgery, Rejoice risked bleeding to death. Her family had given all the money they had, and even sold property to pay for the bills, but the bills were just too high, and they couldn't do anything more to help. They were faced with having to send Rejoice home, without the surgery, to eventually bleed to death.

My friends, my little family in Cebu, saw the situation, and jumped up to help. In fact, when I left for the states, they continued to make sure that everything was in place and even fronted the cost for this very expensive medical procedure. That, along with the generous donations I received from other people who've been touched by Pastor Noel, literally saved the life of Rejoice. You can read all about the rest of the details on my friend's blogs:

Lindsey: http://www.lindsayincebu.blogspot.com
Bethany:http://failingtofindsuccess.blogspot.com/
Amy:http://amylouiseco.blogspot.com

Merry Christmas Everyone. I hope you are thankful for you health, for your life, and for the people that surround you. Most importantly, I hope you were able to make a difference in someone's life this year.

Here's a Christmas "Family Photo" of my Little Cebu Family (minus me, I was already on my way to the states).
Left to Right: Bethany, Francis, Lindsay, Ali and Amy

The anatomy of a fence

2010-12-10T09:42:00.000+07:00

So, I don't know much about construction, on any continent. But from what I've observed, the process in the Philippines is a bit different than in the US. Here's pictorial documentation of the process of our fence being constructed. Enjoy!

Chatter Mag

2010-11-05T15:47:00.000+07:00

I recently wrote an article for Chatter Magazine (A publication of Irving Bible Church)

Thanks Chatter Mag and IBC for being so faithful in partnering with us in our fight against human trafficking! Read the article here: http://www.chattermag.com/trafficking-in-the-philippines/

or here:

The facts are staggering. But the reality is much worse. The reality is there are individuals in the Philippines — women, girls, even men and boys at times — whose lives have been given so little regard that they now consider themselves worth nothing more than for what they are bought or sold. Individuals with dreams like finishing school and being happily married now believe they never have the hope of attaining their dreams.

So what about this conglomeration of more than 7,000 islands in the middle of the Pacific Ocean makes it susceptible to human trafficking? Although some of the most beautiful island destinations in the world can be found here, so can extreme amounts of abject poverty. With 26 percent of families (many of which have more than five children) living on less than $300 a year, desperation is bound to exist.

However, not all impoverished nations have such high numbers of trafficking victims. Trafficking exists where it is not prosecuted, and the Philippines have historically turned a blind eye to this atrocity. However, new efforts are arising, including a three year partnership signed on August 19, 2010, between the Philippine government and U.S. government for better investigation, prosecution and conviction of human traffickers.

However, even with the renewed efforts of the government, there is a shortage of places victims, once rescued, can go to find protection or support to start a new life. According to the Trafficking in Persons (TIP) Report 2010, “The government’s capacity to provide shelter and protection is severely limited due to inadequate budgets, and there are regular instances where victims are unable to access government protection services.”

My Refuge House (MRH) started in 2008 to help meet the need for victims to experience safety in the midst of turmoil. Since that time, more than 20 young women have found hope and healing through its short term rehabilitation program. Hope for achieving their dreams again. And healing to believe they are worth more than what some person decided they should be worth.

One former victim said she liked MRH because the staff taught her how to read and she knew she would never go hungry while she was there. Another said she appreciated the staff for being so caring and understanding of her situation. Both girls have moved on, pursuing those dreams that seemed so far out of reach last year.

My Refuge House has begun construction on a new facility but is still in the process of raising money for the completion of that facility. The rental facility previously used, can no longer meet the needs of the program. Please consider partnering with this ministry and helping others, like the girls mentioned in this story, find hope and healing in their lives.

Salamat (Thank you)

2010-10-15T16:36:00.000+07:00

I wanted to share a letter one of the girls made for all the staff at My Refuge House right before she left. It is a thank you poster. In summary, it says "Thank you for teaching me how to read and write, and thank you for loving me even when I had a very bad attitude."

One life at a time.

A Bottle of Coke

2010-09-24T17:29:00.000+07:00

Laws for squatters (persons who settle on land that is not legally theirs) can be ironclad here. Often the owner of the land will lose considerable amounts of money because the "squatters" refuse to leave without a settlement, and, by law, they don't have to. There are fires, almost weekly, in Cebu, usually in squatter areas, because owners get fed up with the people not leaving and just burn them to the ground.

It can be very frustrating on both ends. For the owner of the property, and the "squatters" on the property. 180,842 families, or 12.8 percent of the population in my region of the Philippines (The Visayas) are technically squatters (2004 report). And even though the laws are frustrating for my end of the population, that is a huge number of persons who would otherwise be homeless, and the injustice of that, is much more frustrating.

squatter home with the boats and pier in background

Last month I visited one of the most devastated districts in Cebu. It's an area, by one of the piers, whose tenants earn their living by scavenging in and around the pier area. They were squatters, but had built homes and lived by the pier for many years, some for many generations. Their homes had been demolished to build a shipping warehouse, and they became, by definition, displaced peoples. This community of around 15 families, couldn't leave the area, which supplied the only livelihood they knew, so they moved into a pile of old shipping/building materials. Literally. Tarps and sheet metal had been placed on top of cement drums to form make-shift structures that I had trouble believing would hold up during a storm.

The team I went with to this area was a Catholic Ministry called SVD who UNICEF has partnered with to do a joint project in providing aid to some of the neediest families. The workers go into these communities weekly and help the families get birth certificates for their children, make sure the children are in school, and try to provide assistance to help the kids stay in school. They also pass out condoms. Because, as you can imagine, sex brings in money. Sometimes more money than scavenging, but not always.

Lights from shopping district seen behind

Someone in this particular community informed the worker that her neighbors will sometimes sell their bodies for a liter of coke. One liter of coke. Many of the girls who are participating in these activities are very young, barely teenagers. The position of SVD in this area is that they will not convince someone to disengage from income generating activities unless they have another job to offer them. In the face of such devastation, they believe, asking them to stop these activities will only shame them when they have no other means. So they offer jobs, whenever they can. But that isn't often. There aren't a lot of jobs for those without resources.

As we walked back towards the city lights in the dusk, two persons heard us and stepped out from behind a structure, hoping we were customers. When they saw who it was they were embarrassed, but the SVD workers didn't even react. They treated them with the same love and dignity they would have treated their family members with.

The definition of trafficking is this: the recruitment, transportation, transfer, harbouring or receipt of persons, by means of the threat or use by force or other forms of coercion, of abduction, of fraud, of deception, of the abuse of power or of a position of vulnerability or of the giving and receiving of payments or benefits to achieve the consent of a person having control over another person, for the purpose of exploitation.

By this definition, anyone who buys these persons, with full knowledge that they have no other means for providing for themselves or their family, is trafficking them.

How does someone get to a place where they believe that their body is only worth a liter of coke? How does someone ever become that desperate? And how do you teach, love, care for, convince, empower or show someone that they are worth more?

They are worth much more.

Breaking Ground

2010-09-16T08:26:00.000+07:00

The construction has officially begun!

We broke ground on Monday, September 13th, 2010. The fencing contractor has been hired and the fence is currently going up! Here's a picture of Pastor Noel, the secretary of our local board and I doing the official ground breaking (It's a good thing I'm not actually part of the construction crew... It took me way to long to dig a scoop of dirt!)

Here's a picture of the whole crew in attendance. It includes our contractor, architect, government engineers, government officials, and IJM staff.

Pastor Noel gave a short service and we Thanked God for the provision of this land and everything it will be used for. Then we had a gigantic meal complete with Lechon (a roasted pig).

It was the perfect way to begin our mission!

Hanging Rice

2010-08-22T15:07:00.008+07:00

Last week I went to Lorega, a district of town known for it's pig slaughter house, drugs, and some of the most extreme poverty in the city. I went with a church ministry from the area that visits families there weekly. We walked down the road, and turned into a pathway that was only about a foot wide and whose walls were stained with every imaginable toxic substance. This path looked like it might lead to a sewer or an outhouse. Instead, it took us to a small community of homes that were situated in and around a cemetery.

One of the women we talked to said she had been living in this community since she was born, 35 years ago, and her mother had lived there before that. The homes were literally stacked on top of and all around above-ground grave sites. People were sitting on top of graves as if they were park benches, smoking cigarettes and laughing at each others jokes. Children playing with handmade toys in front of the deceased whose living relations had long since forgotten about them.

This may seem kind of weird for Americans, but the weirdest thing to me is this: Filipinos are terrified of cemeteries and typically avoid them at all cost. A local Pastor who was coming along on this trip for the first time was amazed, and said he'd never seen anything like it. But it's survival of the fittest in these parts, desperate times call for desperate measures, and (insert survival cliche here).

The same woman who has lived in this cemetery her entire life was working intently at weaving with her mother. They were weaving little pods that are used to cook rice in, and it makes individual servings. It is called "Puyo" or Hanging Rice, because when it is sold, the Rice is hung up for people to buy from the vender. The two women sit on the graves for around 5 hours a day, making these little pods. Together, they can construct about 300 of them in that amount of time. Later they will sell all 300 for 21 pesos. 21 pesos a day is the entire income for this family. $0.46 American cents.

As you can imagine, this area is also known for trafficking. Some families would rather try to sell their children than spend five hours weaving for a almost no profit. It doesn't make it right, obviously, but it's the reality.

(finished product: multiple cooked Puyo in a bowl, ready to break open and eat)

It's important for us to see where the clients are coming from. It's important to know what is driving them and their families towards decisions that seem unthinkable and outrageous. It's important to know what we are up against. We can't save all of Lorega. But we can make a difference for some. One life at a time.

Another goodbye

2010-08-02T16:33:00.002+07:00

I've been saying good bye to friends a lot lately. Part of living in an international community means people come and go quite frequently. I'm not a huge fan of good byes. Most people aren't, I guess, but we make plans that may or may not ever happen to meet up again, somewhere in the world, and they seem a little more bearable.

Two weeks ago, I had to say a different kind of goodbye. A kind of goodbye that, no matter how good of a planner I am, I cannot hope to meet up again, in this world.

When I began working for IJM, Charito (or Ate Cha-- Older sister Cha) sat next to me in the social work section of the office. Ate Cha had an incredible ability to make people feel loved within seconds of meeting them. She was the first to reach out to me and take me under her wing. She translated for me when I could not understand the conversation, she filled me in on background information and inside jokes, she laughed and sang and joked and hugged and shared food with everyone around, most of the day. There wasn't anyone who didn't feel loved by this amazing woman.

Ate Cha had been battling cancer for 5 years. Her husband is a pastor in a village on another island, but she was so dedicated to the work of IJM that none of these things mattered. She poured her heart and soul into her interactions with clients, and many of them loved her like the mother they never had. When I would go on visits with her, I would watch their faces light up when she walked in the room; they also knew what it meant to experience the love of this amazing woman.

A few months ago, Ate Cha left IJM in order to take care of her health. But she didn't really stop working. She volunteered at different organizations and worked in her husbands church. Even though we knew she had cancer, no one really believed she was sick... she just never stopped giving.

However, the cancer that was in her lymph nodes spread to her bone marrow, and although she tried chemo again, her body just couldn't take anymore. She left the world peacefully, just closed her eyes and passed on. A fight well fought.

Please pray for Ate Cha's husband, 3 children, one grandson, and countless friends, as they transition into a life without their loved one.

And may we all fight a fight worth fighting for, and be able to rest peacefully for a job well done.

Kristoff

2010-07-15T13:35:00.005+07:00

Nicholas Kristoff wrote an article called "Seduction, Slavery and Sex" in the New York times.

He wrote about a scenario that we often see over here in the Philippines:

In a typical case, a rebellious 13-year-old girl runs away from a home where her mother’s boyfriend is hitting on her. She is angry and doesn’t trust the police. She goes to the bus station in hopes of getting out of town — and the only person on the lookout for girls like her is a pimp, who buys her a meal, offers her a place to stay and tells her he loves her.

The next thing she knows, she’s having sex with four men a night and all the money is going to her “boyfriend.” If she voices reservations, he puts a gun in her mouth and threatens to blow her head off.

Her customers, often recruited on the Internet, may have no inkling that her actions are not completely voluntary. Some mix of fear, love, hopelessness and shattered self-esteem keep her from trying to run away.

Check out the article if you get a chance!

Our New Refuge

2010-06-21T15:46:00.009+07:00

At the end of May, a team of architects made their way to Cebu and spend a few days with me. We drove around the city, listening to Glee (My current favorite soundtrack to life) and looking at building designs. This team, who call themselves Visioneering Studios, decided to tackle our project as their one pro bono project of the year, and gave their time and energy to developing our new facilities for free. I have to say, at the end of those 2 1/2 days, when they showed me their sketches, I was amazed. I can't believe they were able to design this is such a short period of time! It's beautiful, and they really worked to meet all of our anticipated needs.

(Our new Facilities!!)

The drawing above is what the team went back to California and developed. Isn't it gorgeous?? We have to have a very high fence for security reasons, but they were able to incorporate the building into it and make the front softer and less intimidating. That front building will be admin and counseling rooms, meeting rooms, library and kitchen. Five of the structures in the bottom area will be homes. They can house 6 girls each, and will be set up to accommodate a family style situation (which is much more therapeutic than a group home!). The other structure, is actually an open area that we will use for any kind of meetings or gatherings or programs. The best part is, the property is on a hill, so if people are standing in that open area, they will be able to see the ocean, even with the high wall at the bottom!

(A view of our property, just purchased this week! See the Ocean?)

At the top part of the property, outside of the gate, we will build another home, that can be a transition home. We are finding, with our clients, often times they are older, or have children, and don't fit the requirements for other shelters who offer education or other services. We want to fill that gap. We will build this transition home so that those who are not appropriate for other placements, and can't go home, will still have a chance to go to school, or get a job and save money, before going out on their own.

So much of recovery depends on feeling safe. Safety is accomplished by physical surroundings, structure, and relationships that are built. I have watched girls lives change by the relationships they have built with our staff here. And I'm so thankful that Visioneering drew this concept of safety and relationships into every aspect of their sketch. It just looks... peaceful. Don't you think?

Right now, the MRH board is in the process of fund raising to build this new facility. If anyone wants to help by giving or hosting your own fundraiser, please let me know! We desperately need it to so we can make this sketch a reality!

2010 TIP Report

2010-06-17T13:08:00.002+07:00

2010 Trafficking in Persons Report is out. Check it out.

This is the 10th annual report. 177 countries were reported on and the US was one of those for the first time ever. The Philippines is still holding a "Tier 2 Watch List" status. Which means it is still one of the:

Countries whose governments do not fully comply with the TVPA’s minimum standards, but are making significant efforts to bring themselves into compliance with those standards, AND: a) the absolute number of victims of severe forms of trafficking is very significant or is significantly increasing; b) there is a failure to provide evidence of increasing efforts to combat severe forms of trafficking in persons from the previous year; or, c) the determination that a country is making significant efforts to bring themselves into compliance with minimum standards was based on commitments by the country to take additional future steps over the next year

For the full list of countries and placements for this years report click here

Death of a Child

2010-06-12T13:18:00.005+07:00

Today I attended the funeral of Jomar Sagarino.

Jomar was found when he was 11 years old, but those who lived with him at Happy Horizons said he looked like he was six months old. Jomar was severely disabled, both physically and mentally, and had been rejected and hidden by his family members all of his life. I've been told he was found in something similar to a cage, swimming in h

is own feces. The doctor gave him two weeks to live. A few months later, the doctor said he would not make it past his twelfth birthday. That was 10 years ago.

When I worked at Happy Horizons (2002-2004), every kid had chores they had to do daily, and they would do them in rotations. The boys usually took turns caring for Jomar. Although he had grown in stature (he was probably around 4 feet tall), he needed help with everything: feeding, bathing, exercising his legs, changing his diapers, he was still that baby that had been found neglected.

It was amazing to watch the boys who cared for him. Often, at first, they would be annoyed if it was their turn to take care of Jomar. I could see it in thei

r faces. They would have to sit close to him, while he sat in his wheelchair and they had less free time. But eventually, their hearts would soften, their expressions would change.

Because Jomar was like a baby in other ways. He was sweet tempered, joyful to be around, and enjoyed life. He rarely cried, and he would laugh when you played with him. Sometimes, I would catch one of the boys, who wasn't on "duty," playing with Jomar, and Jomar would recognize his voice. Jomar, as only a baby can, brought joy to lives around him, and taught many children how to love well.

Jomar will be terribly missed, as evidenced by the number of people who were present at his funeral. But, as he finally uses his legs for the first time, by himself, and finds his voice, uninhibited, before God, I cannot wish him to be back here. I can only thank God for giving us a precious gift, a 10 year gift, that taught so many, so much.

Below: Some of the young men who have helped care for Jumar.

Two Week Check In

2010-05-22T16:44:00.005+07:00

Well, I've been back to Cebu for 2 whole weeks, and it feels like a lifetime. I've never been so busy in all of my life... and I've had some pretty busy chapters in life.

Most of what I'm doing is pretty boring to write about on a blog. But there are a few things that might be interesting to the general public, so I'll try to recap them in a way that won't cause you to fall asleep.

First, "My Refuge House" is in the process of buying our own property! We have been renting a facility since conception, but we were given a very generous donation to buy land and have begun the process! Buying anything in the Phils has it's challenges, for those of us who are used to American consumerism, however, buying a piece of property here, is, well, unlike anything I've ever done before, and stock full of TIA moments.

For instance, when we interviewed people about the property, they said there was water there, no problem for that. What they meant was "The property next door has a well we can use anytime we want." So, we will have to dig out own well. But at least it will be good water! (At least, that's what we've been told...)

Also, there are permits for everything. And ridiculously high taxes. And notaries. And fees. And documents. And more documents. And stamps. And approvals. It's no wonder there are so many squatters in the the Philippines... buying property is expensive and hard!

On the up side... the property is beautiful! It's just over 6000 sq meters on a hill with a view of the ocean. And the price they gave us was really good because the title had been mortgaged. I'm really excited to move to the facility there.

... After we build it. Although we have the money to buy the property, we don't have all the necessary funds to built the house(s) yet. The board in the US is working hard on a campaign to get the money raised, but we could use your prayers!

Home

2010-05-07T01:00:00.002+07:00

Today, I counted the number of flights I’ve taken across the Pacific, and for as much history as I have with Asia, nine doesn’t seem like that many. I am currently flying, for the ninth time, over the Pacific Ocean, back to my air mattress in Cebu. It’ll be nice to be “home.”

Home is such an interesting word.

People always ask me where I’m “from.” It’s such a complicated question. I grew up in multiple places, and have lived in numerous places across the globe in my adult life. And now, my family is spread out across the U.S., all in places I’ve never called “home.”

Although I have strong emotional ties to all the places I’ve lived in, when I visit those places again it’s the people I go to see. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve visited places just for the sake of seeing the place I lived. But when there is no one to see, no one that I still love and cherish, once is enough. And sometimes once is too much.

When I plan trips to the United States, I go where I have loved ones. My family and friends are spread all across the USA, and I can only see so many of them. But I always want to see as many as possible. And no matter what I think of the actual city they live in, I will go back again and again if the relationship is worth it to me.

I’m on my way to begin my official term as Clinical Director of My Refuge House. That sounds really important, but actually I just want to make a home. A home where girls who have been marginalized, taken advantage of, and abused can find Refuge. A home that cultivates healing relationships. A home that girls will keep coming back to, because they’ve found hope and joy that didn’t exist before.

Home is an interesting word.

Home is a good word.

Transition

2010-04-22T03:58:00.003+07:00

They say you experience culture shock in different degrees every time you transition from one to the other. I've been back in the states for almost a week, and I have hardly felt a difference. It might be because I've been too busy to think about it, but this time, the US just feels... comfortable. Even the things that normally shock me (entire aisles of toilet paper in the grocery store, beautifully paved roads, meals without rice) didn't affect me too much.

It's been amazing to reconnect with friends and family, especially considering the very short warning I gave them! So this is a thank you to everyone who made time for me in their very busy schedules! You'll never understand just how thankful I am that you are in my life!

To those I didn't get a chance to see this time, I'm so sorry! I sure hope we can connect next time when I have more than a few hours in each place that I consider partially home.

Beginning, Middle and End

2010-03-29T08:20:00.003+07:00

Tomorrow is officially my last day as an IJM Fellow. Instead, I have taken a position as the Clinical Director of "My Refuge House!" As most of you know, I've worked very closely with My Refuge House (MRH) for the past 9 months, training and developing their staff and writing protocol. Although I've very much enjoyed my time at IJM, I believe that I can do more good for the aftercare community in Cebu by taking this role and assisting the shelter to provide the best care possible for victims of trafficking.

I will be sad to leave IJM, I've grown very close to many of my co-workers here and enjoyed the work and the organization very much. But I'm excited to continue the partnership MRH has with IJM by taking on this role. I've committed to a two-year term, and I definitely covet your prayers as I move into this new role. If you would like to learn more about this organization please visit www.myrefugehouse.org and, of course, feel free to ask me any questions!

Thank you all for walking with me on this journey over the past nine months. I'm happy to say it hasn't ended yet! I hope you will continue to walk with me through the next two years as I collaborate with the MRH team to provide the best services and care possible to this vulnerable population.

Chatter

2010-03-15T08:37:00.002+07:00

Here's an article that was written about me in September 2009. It was posted in "Chatter" which is a publication of Irving Bible Church.

http://www.chattermag.com/crystal-in-cebu/

Enjoy!

More Highlights

2010-03-09T13:32:00.008+07:00

Some Highlights of my life in the past month...

Current Favorite Fruit: Mangostein

Current Favorite Cebuano Phrase: Pag-sure oi?! (Are you sure?!)

Favorite part of the past weekend: Borrowing a friend's motorbike and cutting my commute in half (there are essentually no rules for motorbikes, you can go around and through traffic and will always end up the first in line at the stoplights)

Most missed thing from the states: Mexican food

Most looking forward to: Jennifer (my wondeful co-worker from Fort Worth) coming to visit in April!

Most awkward moment: Being the candle-lighter in a wedding for someone I didn't know. My co-lighter wouldn't talk to me at first (he was "shy," a cultural phenomenon that occurs with 80% of people I meet), but then, when we starting walking, and for the rest of the ceremony, the 23 year old cousin of the groom wouldn't stop talking! There were seven bridesmaids and 7 flower girls. I've never seen so much pink satin in my life.

Lastest Island Adventure: Apo Island! 10 hour boat + 30 minute bus + waiting for 1 hour + 45 minute small boat= tiny island with no electricity and diving with sea turtles! Totally worth it :)

Saddest moment: When my camera shattered in the bottom of my bag and my MP3 player stopped working :(

Favorite work project: Managing 10 volunteers in the intake for the biggest IJM Cebu operation to date, and teaching Career Counseling to 30+ aftercare partners.

Teach Me

2010-02-18T09:42:00.004+07:00

When I give training here to houseparents and social workers, I tell them to hope for problems in the lives and behaviors of their clients. To be fair, problems usually exist in the lives of the clients, so they don't usually have to hope for long. In the lives of our clients, dysfunction has long ruled. In their families, in their relationships, in their coping skills, dysfunction is sometimes all they know (a VERY high percentage of trafficking victims come from abusive family situations). But dysfunction leaves a trail of problems, and in those instances are when TEACHING can be done.

No one likes to hear that the way they are doing things is not the way that they should be done. Change is not fun or comfortable. But when the way a person is acting or coping proves to cause more problems instead of easing those problems, then change is sometimes more appealing. And teaching new ways of coping and acting can be more accepted in those instances.

I have a great friend, who, everytime I talk to her asks, "What has God been teaching you lately?" I have to admit, I don't always think about life in those terms. And, when I know I will get the oppurtunity to talk to her, I cheat and sometimes think about the question before our scheduled phone date.

Sometimes God teaches me through his word. But when I become busy with life, and don't take as much time to contemplate his word, He teaches me in other ways. He teaches me through my successes, and my failures. He teaches me through the words of others. He teaches me through my unfair expectations of myself and Him and others around me. He teaches me through the things I can't control. He teaches through the good and the painful.

I'm so happy I know a God who teaches instead of condemning. He's the best example I have on how to work with clients.

Mid-Section

2010-01-20T06:53:00.003+07:00

The half way point of my term with IJM has come and gone. Although I expected it to go quickly, it’s a bit surreal to think that in six months I will not longer be here. And for those of you wondering (as I am) what is next… I have no idea :)

The bulk of what I’ve been working on for the past six months has been at one of our partner shelters, My Refuge House. I’ve helped them by revise their policy and procedures and led trainings for the houseparents and social workers there. It’s been great to see them grab a hold of concepts they were never taught before and improve their skills and confidence in the shelter.

In addition, I’ve had the privilege of supervising the IJM social workers in their development of group therapy curriculum and implementation. Can I just say, the social workers in this office are incredible. Hard workers, delightful to be around, and compassionate. I love to come to work every day just to see them!

The final half of my term will look similiar. I will continue to lead the trainings at MRH and invest in the staff there, as well as providing trainings for some of our other partner shelters. I will be again supervising group therapy development and implementation with more social workers. I will be conducting other trainings for the social workers in the office on topics such as counseling techniques and anger de-escalation. And lastly, I will develop a workbook about stress and burnout for partners in the local shelters.

It’s been very exciting to be placed in roles that increase the sustainability of the work already being done here. I’ve been able to invest in IJM staff and partners without stepping into any roles that have caused unnecessary dependence on my temporary position. The need is great, but the work already being done is great also. I love having the privilege of improving what’s already in place. And, to top it off, I’ve learned that I really like teaching!

Most of the IJM Social Worker Team, Referred to in the office as "The Angels:"

Christmas Highlights

2010-01-04T19:26:00.019+07:00

For those who are interested, here are some of my fondest memories of this last holiday season:

Baking hundreds of Christmas cookies
Drinking Homemade Eggnog!

Sharing hundreds of cookies with some of my favorite kids at our partnering shelters

On my way out of the country for the holidays I saw this warning against trafficking on the departure card:

I had a layover in Manila and saw this very amusing Kiosk in the biggest mall in Asia. It was a foodstand called "Spam Jam." Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like!

I spent the holidays in Hong Kong drinking lots of Chinese tea, seeing the sights(including this "crystal tram"with a plexiglass bottom across the harbor and up Hong Kong Island,

Eating delicious streetfood,

Accidentally stumbling upon a Christmas Church Service and worshipping (In English!) with people from all over the world,

And freezing even though I was wearing most of my clothes, most of the time!

And since Christmas is not yet over here (there are still decorations everywhere and Christmas music blaring) I will take this last opportunity to wish you are very Merry Holiday Season!

image

2009-12-10T06:50:00.002+07:00

This image goes along with the article I wrote. This is one of our social workers, Stella, one of the DSWD social workers, Edna and one of the clients giving her testimony the morning after being rescued.

http://www.ijminstitute.org/index.php/site/entry/rescue_operation_in_cebu_philippines/

Real Life

2009-12-09T12:40:00.002+07:00

Hello Everyone!

I've written a story about an bar raid that took place a few weeks ago. It is being featured on the IJM Institute blog. Check it out at the link below if you get a chance!

http://www.ijminstitute.org/index.php/site/comments/rescue_operation_in_cebu_philippines/

Christmas and the holidays are fast approaching. Filipinos love Christmas and everything that goes along with it. For instance, there are nativity scenes and other ornaments made out of reclyed objects placed all over town (which surprisingly, look quite festive) as well as songs such as Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" and "Away in a Manger" artistically mixed together (yes, it is just as awful as it sounds!)

My five month mark is also coming up soon (Seriously? Where did the time go?) And honestly, Cebu is starting to feel very much like real life. When you travel to a new or different culture, there are times when it feels like it could be just a game, or just a phase, like you keep waiting to wake up and go back to real life. But I've settled in quite nicely and Cebu does feels like real life. I still love Filipinos, mangoes and hot weather. I still hate sitting in really bad traffic, being shouted at by strangers and seeing naked babies who live on the streets. But, overall, it's just become part of life. Life in the Philippines. And overall, I'm loving it.

The work is good. I've implemented some training programs to various staff and partners and been able to see those trainings be used effectively, which is both exciting and encouraging! I've even been able to interview some clients using my limited Cebuano skills (which are, sadly, still limited). And every day our office staff meet together and pray for the court cases and investigations and police trainings and victims in aftercare and outreach in the community that happen every day around me. And it's exciting and encouraging to be part of such a magnificent team.

My only wish for Christmas... Eggnog Chai. But that might have to wait until next year, because although there are Starbucks here, there is a severe shortage of Eggnog in the country! :)
Merry Christmas Everyone!

Birthday Weekend

2009-10-28T14:33:00.017+07:00

I turned 28 last Saturday, and I claimed the entire weekend as my birthday (mostly because I had to work on Saturday, but, let's be honest, I probably would have claimed the whole thing even if I wouldn't have had to work!) It was a very random, eventful weekend and I

hope you enjoy the highlights...

First the biggest bouquet of flowers arrived at my office (which is not listed and I've never given the address to anyone!) compliments of my beautiful friend Sarah Pahl in Dallas (who is obviously going to be an amazing lawyer, because she's got great investigative skills!)

I had originally planned to celebrate my birthday on Friday

night, because two of my really good friends were going out of town the next day, but a brothel raid was scheduled for that night, so my plans were up in the air for awhile. I was scheduled for the morning shift, so we went ahead with the celebration... My wonderful friend Isa drove us up to an Italian restaurant, on top of the mountainside overlooking the city and I had an amazing dinner with Lynn, Angela, Isa, Amy, and Sarah (whose flowers got their own seat of

honor).

The next day I worked from 7am-3pm. I met with clients who were taken out

of the brothel the night before for intake interviews and affidavit taking with the lawyers. My boss surprised me and bought the best cake I have tasted this side of the pacific! The staff there sang to me... and then I attempted to "cut" the cake (it was more of a butcher) with the straight end of a plastic fork.

That evening was a "Walk against Trafficking" and a free concert put on by MTV Exit (End Exploitation and Trafficking) with three great Filipino bands. It was a great concert though... The next pic is some of my co-workers showing up to support the effort. (Even those who didn't particularly enjoy the music still came to support! :) )

The next day, Sunday, I went to Happy Horizons Children's Ranch to celebrate with some of my favorite kids in all the world (although many of them I can't actually call "kids" anymore). After orienting Amy and Matt to the joys of the public bus, we spent the afternoon eating cake and ice cream and playing games.

Thanks everyone for making me feel so loved this weekend!

Crime and Celebration

2009-10-12T06:57:00.005+07:00

A baptism, a raid, a stolen wallet, and a sermon. The highlights of my weekend. The events that made this weekend very long, but one of the most exciting and memorable of my stay here in Cebu thus far.

My Refuge House, one of the aftercare facilities here that I am working very closely with, currently has 5 girls living in their care. One of the girls is getting ready to be transferred to a longer term shelter. However, because of the impact of the staff at My Refuge, and all she has learned there, she wanted to be baptized before she left. So the shelter pushed the baptism forward, and opened it up to any of the girls who wished to make a commitment. Amazingly, all five of them decided to participate! It was a great testimony of who God is, and although the girls still have alot to learn, their desire to allow the Lord to assist them through those trials is very exciting!

If you would like to see pictures and other comments about this event or this shelter you can check out the Interim Director's blog at http://russmegumikids.blogspot.com/

That baptism was Saturday afternoon. On Saturday evening, on my way to the office, I stopped by the drug store to pick up some meds. As I was leaving, I felt someone move my bag. Usually when I feel someone touch my bag, It's nothing, just me being paranoid, so I shook my backpack a little, picked up my speed a bit, and climbed into a taxi. And when I got in I noticed my wallet was gone.

Needless to say, I was more than a little upset. I came into the office and called my credit card company to cancel my card and moped around for a little while (mostly just mad at myself for not reacting when I felt my bag move... and not wearing my backpack on the front instead of the back). My co-workers were great, one offered to take me to the police station to report it (although, honestly, I'm sure it wouldn't do any good). Most shocking to me though, was when two Filipino co-workers handed me money because "we know what it's like to not have any cash." I was encouraged beyond my ability to express.

That night I participated in my first raid of a bar. It was incredible to watch my co-workers in action and see how they rose up to the challenges, not just that evening, but also in the days that followed as they worked with the girls. I'm amazed and excited to be part of such a great team!

I left the scene early, arriving home around 5am because I had to travel out to the province for a speaking engagement at "Happy Church." This is the church that is part of "Happy Horizons Children's Ranch" where I lived and worked the last time I was here. I was pretty tired, but, again, the Filipinos there made it every bit worth the venture! The pastor, Ricky, went out and bought some "Lechon" (roasted pig-- the traditional party food) because they remembered that my birthday was in a few weeks. And I sat with the family most of the afternoon and rested before coming back to the city. And, of course, seeing the kids there never ceases to make my day joyful. It's a long trip to get out there, and I never want to go, but everytime I arrive, I never want to leave, and I'm always so happy I made the trip.

It was a memorable weekend in so many ways. And my favorite part, as always, are the amazing Filipinos I have the privilege of counting as friends!

Victory!

2009-10-02T07:20:00.002+07:00

The IJM office in Manila had a major victory last week!

Read about it here:
http://globalnation.inquirer.net/news/breakingnews/view/20090930-227672/1st-public-exec-guilty-of-human-trafficking
or here:
http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/pinoy-migration/09/30/09/court-convicts-cop-life-human-trafficking
or here:
http://www.balitapinoy.net/philippine_crime_news.html
or here:
http://www.sunstar.com.ph/manila/cop-sentenced-trafficking
or here:
http://www.manilatimes.net/index.php/news/nation/3059-manila-court-metes-police-officer-life-sentence-for-human-trafficking
or here!
http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=509973&publicationSubCategoryId=93

All the articles say basically the same thing... but the publicity is amazing!

Thanks everyone for your support in this work! Please continue to pray for the ongoing cases in this office and others around the world.

Yay for Victories!!!

Storms and Floods

2009-09-28T07:32:00.003+07:00

Currently, it is the rainy season in Southeast Asia. This session is (obviously) characterized by alot of rain, and frequent typhoons. One such Typhoon, "Ondoy" has hit Luzon, the northernmost island of the Philippines and caused massive floods and devastation. The current death toll is over 70, with countless others displaced and homeless.

Please take a moment to look at the pictures on the link below and then pray for the Philippines!

Massive Flooding in the Philippines--- MSNBC

P.S. Cebu (where I am located) has only received a little bit of leftover rain and wind, so the linked pictures are just as surprising to me as they are to you!

Highlights and Injuries

2009-09-14T06:56:00.004+07:00

Current favorite fruit: Yellow Mango, with just a tint of green so it's a little sour

Current almost-healed injury: massive bruise/burn on my leg from falling out of a bathroom on a boat

New favorite Cebuano Phrase: "Amboat Nimo" or "I don't know about you" (usually used when someone is acting a little crazy or you have no idea what they are talking about).

Current work projects: Case management policy and procedure manual for My Refuge House and bi-monthly training sessions for staff in My Refuge House.

Other highlights of the past few weeks:

All of the teams at International Justice Mission just had a 3 day team-building retreat. The Aftercare team, of which I am a part, went to the nearby island of bohol, to a great little beach resort and spent a very relaxing couple of days enjoying each others company.
I have been able to reconnect with many of the "kids"' I used to work with when I was here five years ago at Happy Horizons. Most are now grown up and have moved on or are going to college and being sponsored by Happy Horizons. But they are all just as delightful as I remembered and getting to reconnect with them has been amazing!
I've jumped into a nice little community of Ex-pats that help make transitioning back into a foreign culture so much easier! Currently our group includes three of us from IJM and two girls from the peace corps. Amazingly, these are all people I would CHOOSE to hang out with if we lived in the same city in the states (which doesn't usually happen when you are overseas!) so I'm very thankful for them!

TIA moments:

My roommate and I rented a semi-automatic motorbike to take a trip on. I drove, she rode on the back. I hadn't driven one in 8 years, but amazingly we only had one accident and one flat tire! And other than a bruise or two, no one was hurt either :)
I got my first ear infection EVER, but it's better now thanks to a very nice doctor and some antibiotics which cost me a total of $16.00 (doctor visit &meds)
I was stuck in traffic and my taxi driver hopped out to... check on the source of the traffic? Nope...urinate on the wall.
I had a bug bite on my foot that was itching like crazy so I asked a co-worker if she had any anti-itch cream. She handed me Vicks Vapor Rub.

Prayer requests:

The staff at My Refuge House to have confidence and courage for the very hard work they are doing every day.
One of my co-workers is currently in Chemotherapy for cancer. Her name is Charito. Please pray for her and her family.

I love and miss you all!!

TIA

2009-08-12T18:04:00.000+07:00

These are my roommates and coworkers Leila and Amy. They are both great and have helped make transitioning to the Philippines so enjoyable!

Amy (on the right) recently introduced me to a phrase: TIA. It's usually accompanied by a shrug of the shoulders or a sigh, even occasionally a rolling of the eyes. Roughly translated, it means "This is Asia."

This simple phrase comes in very handy. I will demonstrate:

My domestic flight is 1 1/2 hours late (and counting) and I have an international connection... TIA.
My friend (a girl who works with the peace corps) paid 4$ for a haircut and was given a mullet... TIA.
I found some amazing granola cereal with dried fruit in it and it only cost 3$ (about half of the normal price for cereal) but the day after I opened it the ants in my house considered it an open invitation. There were only about ten that I could see so I poured a bowl anyway and put the remaining cereal in the fridge to kill the rest of the ants so I could eat it later... TIA.
"How old are you?" "How much money do you make?" "Who pays your salary?" "Where is your husband/boyfriend?" "Why are you single?" "Buy me a gift" and "You like to marry a Filipino?" are questions I hear daily, mostly from strangers, but only because those who are not strangers have already asked me these questions... TIA.
Rice for breakfast lunch and dinner is doing a serious number on my digestive system... TIA.
If you see something you like, might want in the future, or want more of in the future, you buy them all now because you will most likely never find the same ones again... TIA.
Just when you think there is no possible way they can fit one more person on the jeepney (public transport) three more get on... TIA.

And then there are the wonderful things...

"I really worry about you because you have no family here in Cebu so if you ever get lonely, please come stay with us"... TIA.
Friends (girls mostly) grabbing your hand as you walk or stand next to them... TIA.
All inclusive eating and sharing of meals and snacks and everything in between... TIA.
Not being the only person to put on long sleeves when the temperature drops below 80 degrees... TIA.
Fresh fruit everywhere... TIA.
A love for word puns and laughing about absolutely everything, just because life is full of joy and friends and family... TIA.

This is Asia... and I love it!

Whys and Hows and Whats

2009-08-04T06:51:00.000+07:00

Interacting and working with victims of crimes will, and should, cause one to reflect on the why’s and how’s and what’s of life, and of God. Why would God allow this to happen? How can God be good if he lets innocent people suffer? What can be done when most efforts seem to produce such small amounts of effectiveness in the grand scheme of oppression and problems surrounding us? God calls us to fight for justice, and the work here is doing exactly that, but it’s easy to start becoming offensive and bitter when the aftermath of suffering surrounds you daily.

I’m reading a book that addresses some of these issues entitled Out of the Whirlwind. The Author, Mark A. Tabb, doesn’t talk about victims of crimes or trafficking, he discusses tragedy in the life of a Christian, when there are no real answers to the Why questions surrounding them. The following excerpt struck me hard:

I know God is good, but must God always be good to me before I trust him? If so, I am in trouble because God cannot and will not always do that which appears from my limited human perspective to be loving and kind. At times his actions will seem harsh and painful. They must be if God is to act in ways that are truly good. George MacDonald describes this paradox in At the Back of the North Wind. The book tells the story of a boy named Diamond who develops a relationship with the North Wind, who represents God. The boy wants to go away with the beautiful North Wind because of the goodness she’s showered upon him. Diamond tells her:
“Well, I will go with you because you are beautiful and good, too.”
“Ah, but there’s another thing, Diamond: What if I should look ugly without being bad -- look ugly myself because I am making ugly things beautiful?—What then?”
“I don’t quite understand you, North Wind. You tell me what then.”
“Well, I will tell you. If you see me with my face all black, don’t be frightened. If you see me flapping wings like a bat’s, as big as the whole sky, don’t be frightened. If you hear me raging ten times worse than Mrs. Bill, the blacksmith’s wife—even if you see me looking into people’s windows like Mrs. Eve Dropper, the gardener’s wife—you must believe that I am doing my work. Nay, Diamond, if I change into a serpent or a tiger, you must not let go your hold of me, for my hand will never change in yours if you keep a good hold. If you keep a hold, you will know who I am all the time, even when you look at me and can’t see me the least like the North Wind. I may look something very awful. Do you understand?”

I’m not sure if I understand, Lord, and I know I don’t like it, but I’m willing to trust you anyway. And I pray that you will use me to help “make ugly things beautiful.”

Job Description

2009-07-16T14:47:00.000+07:00

Many of you have asked me what I will be doing over the next year. I told you I would be working in aftercare, with a local short-term shelter for victims of sexual trafficking who have been rescued. I really didn't have any idea what that meant or what it would look like. But I was excited nontheless, and most people seemed satisfied with that answer so I left it at that.

I just had a meeting with my boss, and she has laid out three goals which will comprise the majority of my work here at International Justice Mission (IJM). I must say, I'm elated. Here's a basic rundown of those three goals:

1. Work with IJM and community social workers developing and implementing curriculum for therapeutic groups to be held with clients at local shelters. Group topics may include: Self-esteem, relationships, sexuality, depression, suicidal thoughts and destructive behavior, communication/conflict resolution, anger managment and aggression.

2. Learn about needs of local caregivers in shelters and find ways to strengthen and empower them to continuing doing the very hard work that they do.

3. Work specifically with "My Refuge House" a local short-term shelter with developing policy and procedures and protocols for operations in their new programming.

These three, rather broad goals (with a lot of room for creativity!) are going to be my life for the next year. I'm VERY excited about each of these three goals and cannot wait to begin!

Arrival

2009-07-16T08:25:00.000+07:00

I arrived in Cebu, safe and sound! I had a minor snag with my return flight, but was able to resolve it in Seoul, South Korea during my layover (which is good, because customs would not have let me through if I didn't!). I got in around 12pm on Tuesday, July 14th and was able to go straight to bed (which is wonderful after you've been traveling for 2o hours!)

I woke up bright and early the next morning, around 6am and went out to explore this city that I have missed so much! I rode a jeepney (primary mode of tranporation-- originally they were old WW2 army jeeps that the USA left behind) and went the wrong way, but luckily, it took me to the baragay or area where the house I used to stay at was located, as well as the house of the missionaries I used to work with. So I went up to visit, but the missionaries are in the states for a few months. However, one of the kids I used to work with was there, working on the lawn so I was able to visit with him for a few minutes! When I left he was 12... now he is 17! It was great to see him though. The children's home where I used to live and work in located about 2 hours from the city, so I will be able to go visit this weekend.

I got back on the jeepney and went the way I had orginally intended, exploring some more of the city, and to my relief, it hasn't changed too much. There are a few new establishments, but the same boys still yell to get on the jeepneys, and there are still fried bananas and grilled fish on many street corners, and bakeries with the most delicious sugary treats you can imagine. There are still palm trees and terrible drivers and people covering their faces from the dust with hankies. And still the same sweet smiling faces ready to assist with anything you may need. It's so nice to be back!

Immeasurably more...

2009-07-04T00:38:00.000+07:00

Someone just gave me an anonymous donation of $10,000!!!!!!!!! I have absolutely no idea who it could me from (which I suppose is the point of anonomity) But I hope that whoever it is can read this and hear me say "THANK YOU SO VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY MUCH!!!!"

This is obviously more than I need. Much more. But whatever I don't use, International Justice Mission can use. So Thank you to whoever donated it. And Thank you God, for being such an amazing provider!

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Financial Miracles

2009-07-03T23:58:00.000+07:00

I always said I would never raise money again. I hated feeling as if I was befriending people with ulterior motives. And I had seen some missionaries consumed with raising money and (from what I could tell) burning bridges because of it. I vowed to never do it again.

The theme of my life over the past five years has been "Trust." I don't know if trusting the Lord comes easier for some people, but it has never been easy for me. But God is so patient. And such a good teacher. Slowly, he's proved to me (o'er and o'er as the hymn says) that I can trust him, especially in the area of finances. So, when I was asked to come work with International Justice Mission, and told I would have to raise money, I vowed to do it with integrity and, to the best of my ability, make sure that no one ever felt as if giving to me was a prerequisite for friendship. And I had complete peace that God would provide.

I did a bunch of fundraisers, and sold all my things, and spoke at a couple of youth groups and churches, but up until 2 weeks ago, I had less than half of my funds raised. And I still wasn't worried about it! It was the most phenomenal thing! I even thought to myself "I should be worried right now" but I just couldn't muster up that emotion!

So, I'd met with Steve Roese, one of the pastors at Irving Bible Church (IBC) a few times about my trip. When I got back from training, he sent me to have lunch with Steven Harrell, another pastor on staff. Another week went by, and I saw Steve at IBC on Father's Day and went over to talk to him. Our dialogue went like this:

Me: Happy Father's Day
Steve: Thanks. Has Steven gotten back with you yet?
Me: No.
Steve: Well, we are going to support you.
Me: Great! Thanks!
Steve: How much money have you raised?
Me: Around $8,000.
Steve: And you need $15,000?
Me: Ya. (actually, I was supposed to raise around 17,000, but 15, 000 is more than enough to live on!)
Steve: Well, we are going to make up the difference.
Me: (blank stare) Are you serious?!

But the most amazing part of this exchange (at least in my opinion) is that when Steve told me that, I didn't feel relieved. I felt amazed and astounded and excited and thankful. But not relieved. Because there had not been any worry to relieve!

God can be trusted. I've proved him o'er and o'er.

Dates (of the numerical sort)

2009-06-17T06:30:00.001+07:00

It's official! I bought my plane ticket today!

I'm in Dallas until June 28th at 8:00pm

I fly to Seattle to see family for two whole weeks!

On July 13th at 2:00 pm I will fly to Cebu, Philippines.

If anyone will intersect my path at any point and wants to meet up at any of those times shoot me an email! I'd love to see you :)

All Trained Up

2009-06-10T01:27:00.000+07:00

I just finished a week of intense training in Washington D.C. Now I'm hanging out with a good friend in Westchester, Pennsylvania (possibly the cutest town in the Northeast), and wanted to share some highlights from the past few weeks with everyone (in no particular order):

1. International Justice Mission is the most professional non-profit I have ever had the privilege to observe. I am so impressed with their integrity and research based work. It's no wonder they have such a strong reputation all over the world.

2. More than once during training I heard a variation of the phrase "We depend on the Lord because we cannot make it without his help. We are often working with situations that are extreme and cannot be resolved without God's help." I'm so excited to work with an organization that believes prayer is essential.

3. I have been praying a lot about leaving my wonderful community in Dallas and asked God for at least one person to be able to confide in and He answered! I will be sharing an apartment with a legal intern for the first 1 1/2 months (she returns to the states on August 15th) and then in September, another intern will move out to Cebu and the two of us will live together. PLUS, this way, my rent and utilities will only be around 200$ a month!! Woohoo!!

4. I bought my ticket for Seattle (where I will visit my family and fly out from). I leave Dallas Sunday, June 28th at 8:11pm. I'm still figuring out final dates for departure to Cebu, but it will (most likely) be within the first week in July.

5. As of right now, with monthly pledges and one time gifts I have $6000 raised. The number I am shooting for is $17,000. It usually takes at least 5 business days for IJM to process gifts, so if I haven't received your gift yet, that's why. I have received quite a few promises from people about monthly support, and I know it will come in. Thanks to everyone who has given!

6. I had a yard sale at Southwest Harvest Church in Duncanville, Texas and sold everything I own. The only things I have left are a box of books and some clothes. It was very surreal to watch all of my stuff go to new homes, but very freeing also! Plus... I raised over 775$ in sales and donations and was promised a 25$ a month pledge. Thank you Duncanville and Southwest Harvest!!

7. My friend Lexi threw me a Filipino fund-raiser! We tried to make some Filipino dishes (and they tasted very little like the dishes I remember... we had to make a few alterations!) Around 13 people arrived and left me very generous donations totaling over $500. Then Lexi called me a few days later to say someone left an anonymous donation of $400 extra dollars under her rug!

8. I graduated with my Master's in Social work on May 15th! My mom, sister Maralee, and brother Kyle all came down to help me celebrate, and Sarah and Erin threw me the best graduation party ever! Complete with a Pinata and everything! It was amazing.... PLUS I was given $1300 in gifts and donations towards my trip.

Encouraging Strangers

2009-05-09T03:15:00.000+07:00

On Monday I was sitting in a coffee shop, working on my way-too-time-consuming-support letter. I was sitting near the line for coffee and a man I'd never met before saw me working and asked what I was doing. I replied that I was working on a support letter. He became excited and said "Oh are you a missionary??" I started to tell him a little about my trip back to the Philippines and when I stopped he asked me to look up his church website. His church (121CommunityChurch) had just finished reading the book of Amos in the Bible and afterward founded "The Amos Project." This project supports faith-based socially active initiatives, one of which happened to be International Justice Mission in Cambodia.

Now I was excited! I told him that's who I was going to work with International Justice Mission! He sat down, and I watched as tears streamed down his face while he told me about a scripture. He shared how there are always people around us, on the road to our ultimate goals, who need to be encouraged, and asked me to keep my eye out for them on this journey. It was a sweet moment and confirmed some things that I had been thinking about. As he left, he handed me a folded up bill. I thanked him and soon after had to go to work.

The bill was $100! It was the very first gift I received towards my trip. I can't help but thinking; I have no idea how on earth all the funds are going to come in for this trip, but I'm excited to see how it will happen!

I'm Off!!

2009-04-21T08:20:00.000+07:00

Today, I officially accepted the position as an aftercare intern in Cebu. Training is in 6 weeks. Graduation is in 3 weeks. My "to do" list is a mile long...

I'm so excited I can hardly stand it :)

To Go Or Not To Go

2009-04-19T20:23:00.000+07:00

On Friday I was officially offered a position as an "Aftercare Intern" with International Justice Mission for a year. It's ironic, because exactly 24 hours previous to that offer, I had sent out an email telling some people that I wouldn't be going after all. I had grown frustrating with the waiting, I hadn't had any definite communication for weeks, and the planner in me knew I needed to start looking at other options.

It went against every grain of my will for me to accept that I may not be able to go. I wrestled with what looked like the inevitable. Finally, after weeks of throwing a ridiculous temper tantrum I came to the conclusion that God can use me to work with traumatized and hurting people in any capacity. If He was closing doors (seemingly slamming them in my face) then I could trust that there was something/somewhere else that I needed to be.

The Philippines had become an idol for me. Matt Chandler (my fav preacher) defines an idol as something that is non-negotiable in our prayers, whether it's a good or bad thing. Up until this moment, my life had worked out pretty much exactly as I had planned. Working with IJM, and going back to Cebu, was the next thing on my schedule. When it seemed like it wasn't going to happen, I was really upset. But I had to surrender it. Because, I was growing bitter and living in discontentment. And I know from experience, I can't survive on discontentment.

And then the position was formally offered to me. Even though the position itself has not become official yet. I wrote Andrey (the director in Cebu), asking for an explanation while I prayed about the decision, and he said that this is the first time that IJM has ever tried to work with a local shelter in this capacity. Because of that they have been drafting and redrafting contracts for months, contracts that need to be approved by multiple organizations and people. Andrey said even if it falls through with the particular shelter that they are negotiating with now, I will be able to work with other shelters in the area in the same capacity.

A lesson in surrender? Maybe. A lesson in trust? Definitely. A need for more faith in my life?Absolutely.

The biggest concern at this point: Training is in six weeks. Although, they've mentioned I could wait an extra month or so before I deploy, that still only gives me, at the VERY most, 3 months to raise a years salary. We are in the middle of an economic crisis, and funds are tight for just about everyone I know. I don't want to be that person who makes people feel obligated to support me. I am confident that if the Lord really wants me there, the money will come in. And if it doesn't, well, there are other places and people I can work with here.

Please help me pray.

The Waiting

2009-03-29T21:07:00.000+07:00

I have followed the work of International Justice Mission (IJM) for four years. In fact, the work they do, and the way that they do it, is one of the reasons I decided to get a degree in Social Work. Their efforts, their missionology, their dedication, their progress, their methods have always been above reproach and I've known for a long time that I wanted to learn from their expertise.

I graduate May 15 with a Master's in Social Work. It's impossible to express how relieved I am to be finishing. I have worked full time and gone to school full time for almost 4 years, three of which have been at a high-stress job, working with children who have a history of behavioral problems which have gotten them kicked out of multiple placements. It's been challenging, it's been stressful, but I'm almost done, just a few short weeks to go.

So, what next? Well, I'm not entirely sure. I've applied to volunteer as an "Aftercare Intern" with IJM for a year. I applied in January, had 5 interviews in February, and now I'm waiting. And waiting.

I'm a planner. I like to have everything that's coming up sorted out. I like to know what to expect and what others expect of me. I like to be prepared. So, last year, I decided i would apply for the "Aftercare Fellow" position to work somewhere in Southeast Asia. I didn't care where I was placed, I just knew I wanted to work with victims of human trafficking, and I wanted to learn from IJM's experience. I figured I would apply to go in January, after I graduated, giving myself plenty of time to rest from my ridiculous schedule and enjoy the wonderful friends I've learned to rely on here in Dallas. But that's not what happened.

In January, I was looking at IJM's website and I found out that they have an office in Cebu, Philippines. I had no idea. I was amazed and thrilled. Then I found out, about a week before the application was due, while I was on a trip to the east coast, that there was an Aftercare Fellow position open in Cebu in June. I had to apply. There was no other way around it.

For those of you who don't know, I lived and worked in Cebu, Philippines for two years. 2002-2004, I was at a Children's Home in Cebu, teaching and working with the kids and staff and the local church. They were some of the best years of my life and I've missed those children constantly since returning stateside. Ironically, the children's home that I worked out, now partners with IJM to place victims of trafficking in their residence!

So, I applied. I have an understanding of the language there (Cebuano), though I'm by no means fluent, and I love the people, and would be delighted to work there again. And I was interviewed, numerous times, and I waited. And waited. And I'm still waiting.

They offered me a position, sort of, if the position exists. What I mean is, the orginal Aftercare fellowship position is going to be filled by someone who has a slightly different skill set than I do. But, at the same time I was being interviewed, another emergency shelter for victims of trafficking that is sponsored by a church in California, experienced some difficulties with their staffing and their program, and they asked IJM to work with them to improve their program. Because of my experience working in residential care, IJM asked me if I would be interested in being a liasion between the two. My job would be to work with the staff at the shelter and model and teach methods of intervention and therapeutic relationship building types of skills.

Honestly, this position fits me so perfectly. My eventual long term goal is that I want to be a director at a home in Southeast Asia for women coming out of the sex trade. And to be able to work with IJM and what they have learned working with home and shelters for years, and implementing what I already know to this new program, well, it's thrilling.

The reason I'm waiting, is because the position still does not actually exist. IJM doesn't usually work directly with residental facilities. This facility asked them to, but there were alot of details and contracts that had to be worked out between them in order for it to be possible, and now there are details and ligistics within IJM that have to be ironed out in order for the position to be operable.

So, I'm waiting. Hopefully waiting. Waiting with more contentment that I've ever waiting for anything, which can only be the work of the Holy Spirit in me. Because it's only a few short months away, and if I am offered this position I will have to raise enough money to live on for a year while I'm there. But it just seems it is too perfect to be anything expect the work of the Lord. And, as such, he will provide all I need to help stabilize and heal the precious women and children who have been sold into the sex trade.